Saturday, 11 April 2009

Weekend blues

Feeling down again today. Its a long weekend and its hard to keep the demons at bay whilst stuck at home in the city. Most of the time my social isolation does not hugely bother me but this weekend it does. I think how nice it would be to socialise with people, especially people my own age. We could have gone away for the Easter weekend but what pleasure is it when everyone else has the same idea. The motorway queues, kids running around, queues at the airport. No thanks.

I'm not sure how long I can put up with city living for. There isn't anywhere around here where I would move to as an alternative. Well not anywhere where DH or I can commute to our present jobs. The next move will be semi rural. I need trees and green and I need to be close to the water and the outdoors.

So away again we shall move. Away again anonymity and no support structure. Constantly searching, searching for what? What the hell am I searching for and what am I running from?

Oh yes I forgot, I'm running from a dysfunctional childhood.

7 comments:

Notes From The Frugal Trenches said...

I can relate on a lot of levels.

For a couple of years (after I returned from living abroad) I found it *very* hard to make friends here, not sure why it is so hard in the UK but it is. Now I've made some friends but they aren't great friends yet, we are a work in progress ;0)

As I'm not married in the end I had to really make it a priority, but you too need friends and less isolation. Are there any social groups in your area? I know most counties have them and they usually have couples or singles in their 30's/40's. What about a hobby or class? I've found that once you are older than 25, if you don't work in a friendly office then you really find it harder to make friends.

I hear you re the rural. It makes such a difference to see the countryside.

Can I add you to my blogroll?

Tony said...

For the last year or so I have been looking for a way to get out of the rat race.

This morning I came across your blog via google. And I just wanted to say, glad to see that I'm not the only one.

good stuff.

Dreamer said...

Frugal trenches - yes I've been thinking about seeking out some groups to join, the thing is I just dont seem to have the energy, work is all consuming, but at the moment I find it hard to muster up the inclination as I dont really want to be here and keep plotting my escape. Yes of course add me to your blogroll. I would dearly love to live in north america but no chance with immigration. I also find the people a lot more friendly there, I agree it is difficult in the UK.

Dreamer said...

Hi Tony - it helps doesnt it to find other people who share the same escape goals, it does bring some comfort, its just not something that most people talk about. I've been looking for a sustainable way to live for the past several years, I am still searching and hopefully I am not too far away from making the jump.

Morrison said...

Is there a park near you? Sometimes, it's good just to sit there and just look at a tree(s). What about a day trip to the beach? (I don't know where you live) or a river or lake? Even a water fountain-I understand the 'need' to just listen to flowing water.

It's good that you have this internal desire and drive to find someplace in this world that will give you peace and happiness. Because of this drive, you are destined to succeed. You WILL find that place in the sun AND your heart. When it happens, you will know it.

Hang in there.

You'll get there.

Dreamer said...

Hi Morrison, thanks for your thoughtful post. Would you believe that it is almost a 2 hour round trip drive to get out to the countryside proper, the nearest beach I think may be further, so its a bit of an expedition everytime we want to get out.

I live in the north west of england. There are some green squares in the city but not sure that they are safe to sit in if you know what I mean. Its very limiting.

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