Getting Excited

Its almost a month since my last post. I must post more often.

I'm really starting to get excited now. There are now 5 working weeks to go (it still seems too long!) until the escape.

I am REALLY looking forward to being freeeeeeeeee, I will be getting my life back. I realised the other day just how unhappy this life has made me for a long long time. I am feeling a lot more positive about the escape, we just might be able to pull this off.

Having time out of the rat race was never an option for me, I wanted OUT COMPLETELY. When I did locum and contract work I had the opportunity to take some time off for a few months, but nothing had really changed for me. I was still living in the same place, still having to make a living so I could give up work and escape the grind.

So we we are out at the end of July. Initially we are housesitting and dog sitting for a friend for a few weeks. August will be spent here and there in this country. Then in September the rough plan is to go to the Balearic islands (all of them) potentially for 2 - 3 months. Then we may go to the Caribbean and then who knows?

Next spring I fancy travelling around the west coast of North America in a motorhome. From some initial research hiring an RV or a week could run to $1,000k. It appears to be prohibitively expensive to hire an RV for 3 - 6 months. So instead we are considering the idea of buying one on the way in and hopefully selling it on the way out. We need something reliable but we also do not want to spend too much on an RV in case we don't have time to sell it. We would probably start off in Canada so we can go in on 6 month visitors visa. Any tips?

So thats the plan for the next 12 months, although we dont have a concrete itinerary. We are just going to start off in Mallorca and see what feels right and see what comes.

Who knows we may end up being permanent bums in Ibiza beating the drums with the dudes that drive the magic vans :)

Escaping from myself

In two months time I will escape the 9 to 5. I will no longer have to spend the majority of my waking hours in a sedentary job in an office. I will no longer have to live a lifestyle that stifles and depresses me. I will no longer have to live in a concrete jungle to be close to work because I can’t stand to commute.

The prison gates will be open. But what lies beyond the prison gates? Hopefully peace of mind and perhaps even contentment.

And yet, I still struggle daily with a deep sadness, sometimes, a lot of the time the sadness consumes me. It’s a constant battle to keep up on top of the demons and it has taken years of hard work fighting against them. The past is in the past and we have to live in the now, that is true. But the truth is that I am still living with the consequences of the past, I probably always will be. I acknowledge and try to accept the past but I still dont like the past. I always knew deep down that had the past been different that I would be living a very different life now. That was confirmed to me recently in therapy. It was quite a shock to hear someone else say it.

I am not sure whether therapy was useful or not, it certainly gave me a greater understanding of my “problems”, but no resolution. Sometimes I wonder whether it’s made me worse.

So I fixed the 9 – 5 problem, it took years to fix but I did it. Now I just have to fix me and that job is far more difficult.

No Going Back

DH and I have given 3 months notice to our employers.

Our apartment lease is up on 10th August.

It still doesnt feel real. I still worry about money and other associated things.