Make it happen

DH and I have been seriously discussing whether to bring forward the Escape.

Life is too short to be stuck in an office unhappy, we think we can Escape in twelve months time. We are going to aim for September 2010.

If we Escape in September 2010 we will need to put the flat back on the market. Ideally we would sell the flat before September 2010. If we sell it sooner rather than later than we can just rent a flat in town for several months. I have decided that I would feel slightly worried about Escaping in September 2010 and still having to be responsible for the mortgage. We can take a mortgage break of 3 months but then we would have to start paying again thereafter. We do have an income from investments that would cover the mortgage but then this would mean that we would have to cover other living expenses out of our savings.

For a while, I don't think we need the responsibility of having a fixed abode until I/We decide what it is we want out of life and where we want to be. We will probably end up staying at some long term stay residences on the continent where the cost of accomodation and food will be cheaper than here. There are some really good deals out of season. I am hoping that we can live for about 1,300 euros per month. I have been doing some research.

Lately I have been thinking whether we even need a house. If I have to work at a desk all day for the foreseeable future then no, I will do without a house.

What are we really working for? Whose vision are we working to? Are we really just toiling to conform, to follow the herd, to pay the mortgage etc?

Dissapointment and Loss

I am feeling very sorry for myself again.

I am feeling loss at the absence of loving and nurturing relationships in my life. I have missed the steady hand of guidance through childhood, adolescence and adult hood. It seems as though I have been coping with loss all my life. People I have loved are gone or lost. I try to bury this sense of entitlement but is hard sometimes not to feel bitter when those you see around you have lost so little.

I wonder what it must be like to have interested and involved parents and siblings that are not lost or estranged.

I worry about the future, I wonder what will happen if DH or I get ill. I worry about being alone, I worry about dying alone.

Modern communication

There is a lot of truth in some of the recent comments that the Archbishop Vincent Nichols has made concerning social networking sites.

Archbishop Nichols who is the head of the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales has recently voiced his concern over the modern tendency towards transient relationships. Yes, I can relate to his sentiment.

The Archbishop also went on to say that social networking sites put too much emphasis on the number of friends rather than the quality of those relationships and that mobile phones were dehumanising.

I have to say that mobile phones really get on my nerves. I do have a mobile phone but it is for emergencies only. It is hardly ever switched on. I cannot stand this texting nonsense, it is another zombie craze.

We need community, we need interpersonal communication, we need to see people and converse with them, well that's how I feel anyway.

Are transient relationships symptomatic of modern life? Sometimes it feels like everything is built on shifting sands.