Monday, 10 August 2009

Dissapointment and Loss

I am feeling very sorry for myself again.
I am feeling loss at the absence of loving and nurturing relationships in my life. I have missed the steady hand of guidance through childhood, adolescence and adult hood. It seems as though I have been coping with loss all my life. People I have loved are gone or lost. I try to bury this sense of entitlement but is hard sometimes not to feel bitter when those you see around you have lost so little.
I wonder what it must be like to have interested and involved parents and siblings that are not lost or estranged.
I worry about the future, I wonder what will happen if DH or I get ill. I worry about being alone, I worry about dying alone.


Jerry Critter said...

I'm sorry. These are worries that are not easily dispelled. They are what they are.

Dreamer said...

Jerry thanks, its a huge void, baggage I carry around with me all the time

Anonymous said...

You have your dear husband. Some people do not even have that.

It is ironical that with so many people in the world, more than ever before, more loneliness abounds, than in the past.

Dreamer said...

Anon, very true.