Fraught

Well the last few weeks have passed like a whirlwind.

There have been some significant developments in the escape plan. But sometimes I feel that the machine has its jaws clenched tightly around me. So tightly that it feels like my are efforts are sometimes in vain.

I finally feel like I am doing instead of just talking about the escape.

I have developed all sorts of strange health problems, painful throat, pulsating eyelid, headaches, acid stomach etc. I think I'm stressed.

There is a little voice inside my head that whispers pessimistic thoughts about the escape plan. It tells me that I will be unemployed, that I will have no money, that I will be rootless that my restlessness will continue that the escape is a mistake and I will be sorry. But I have come to realise that this little voice is part of my social conditioning. Yes, even me in my rage against the machine, I too am socially conditioned. I have come to understand that the presence of social conditioning can be very subtle.

But I feel in my heart that I must embark on this journey and I can almost smell freedom!