Working 9 - 5

Our stay in Ibiza was wonderful again.

Whenever I get get off the aeroplane I get this feeling in my chest. It is a difficult feeling to describe, perhaps it is a sense of contentment, a feeling of being home, a feeling of just fitting there. This time the weather was cooler although still warm, we were still able to sit and and swim in November. Even now writing about it I long to be back there. The scenery there is quite dramatic, although part of Spain there is something else going on there, by that I mean that you can still feel the influence of the ancient moors and the Phoenicians. There is something about those green hills, some magic that is difficult to describe.

Will Ibiza ever be more to us than a place to spend some part of the year? I don't know. Could we afford to live there? Maybe. It would probably require a lottery win for us to buy property there. It is because I don't really know what I want that I cannot make a commitment to anything. How long will I feel like this? Will we ever settle somewhere? Perhaps we just haven't found it. Should we be doing what makes us happy now, or should we be concentrating on building some security for the future, because there is a conflict between the two.

I have a confession to make. I am working again, doing what I used to do before. BUT it is only a six week contract. The pay is decent. And I am actually enjoying the work. The downside is it requires a hotel stay 4 nights a week. We still have the rented house in Wales which we go to at the weekend.

I do wonder how some people live in the same place and do the same things and go to the same job all their lives. Personally I have undergone incredible growth and change over the last 10 years. This is part of my issue with settling or committing to something somewhere, what if I change my mind, what if I outgrow it? I have wanted different things at different points in my life. That is why I continue to keep things flexible and non permanent. I continue to rent a house but I question the financial wisdom in this.

We have resolved to go to Portugal in the spring to have a look around. Perhaps we could find a small home there in a fishing village near the coast.  Somewhere not too far from an airport.

One thing I am sure of is that I want/need to live near the sea. I don't think living out in the sticks is for us, I don't think I am really ready for that yet.