Fraught

Well the last few weeks have passed like a whirlwind.

There have been some significant developments in the escape plan. But sometimes I feel that the machine has its jaws clenched tightly around me. So tightly that it feels like my are efforts are sometimes in vain.

I finally feel like I am doing instead of just talking about the escape.

I have developed all sorts of strange health problems, painful throat, pulsating eyelid, headaches, acid stomach etc. I think I'm stressed.

There is a little voice inside my head that whispers pessimistic thoughts about the escape plan. It tells me that I will be unemployed, that I will have no money, that I will be rootless that my restlessness will continue that the escape is a mistake and I will be sorry. But I have come to realise that this little voice is part of my social conditioning. Yes, even me in my rage against the machine, I too am socially conditioned. I have come to understand that the presence of social conditioning can be very subtle.

But I feel in my heart that I must embark on this journey and I can almost smell freedom!

Cutting the tree down

In my opinion, escaping the 9 to 5 with any degree of success takes a certain amount of planning.

In order to cut down a tree properly it must be taken down carefully and methodically. Someone once said that the process of tree felling was akin to leaving the rat race. You take the tree down bit by bit rather than have it all crashing down at once.

So that is what I am attempting to achieve. You see once I am out I really don't want to have to go back into the system, go back to the 9 -5 office grind. Therefore it is important to me to ensure that we have made sufficient provision. It is not that I don't want to work, not at all. In fact I want to work but I do not want to work in the law and I do not want to work in an office (or at least not full time).

I feel that I have come so far in this journey that to have it all crashing down now would be a real shame. You see, even though I hate the grind and I know that money does not in itself bring happiness, I also know that to have no money is as equally if not more stressful.

Hopefully, within several months the escape will happen.

So the rough plan for 2010 is:-

1. Sell the flat
2. Keep our jobs (for a little while anyway, fingers crossed)
3. Live on 30% of our joint net income
4. Escape the 9 - 5 by autumn 2010
5. Spend six months living abroad (somewhere warm!)

Random thoughts

Life feels rather more unsettled lately.

Things at work are looking a bit rocky. The boss is having financial problems. The boss says its a cash flow problem, and that November, December are always difficult months. I think the problem is much deeper than that.

The boss is a sole practitioner, he does not have any other equity partners he can ask for a cash injection into the business. Rumour has it that the bank have called in certain issues. To me the boss' business problems are very straightforward. He has taken on too many overpriced lawyers who are simply not paying their way. They are not generating enough income for the firm to even cover their wages. It is that simple.

I am really quite worried about the situation. We usually get paid early in December because of Christmas but we haven't been paid yet. I really think that the boss will struggle to find the payroll money in December. And if he makes December, what about next month and the next etc....

I really don't want to have to find another job.