tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851511678707015789.post7737572815959971604..comments2023-10-10T15:24:28.992+01:00Comments on Escape (d) the 9 to 5: FearDreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07805228653702563060noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851511678707015789.post-30465287620899341632012-01-30T19:16:44.720+00:002012-01-30T19:16:44.720+00:00Quest - yes I equate owning a house with security,...Quest - yes I equate owning a house with security, I understand what you say about making decisions based on fear, it is a horrible basis from which to make decisions. Im nont buying a house, I havent found anywhere I want to live anyway, I just feel this rash desire to have four "safe" walls LOL xxxDreamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07805228653702563060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851511678707015789.post-44612905593122581142012-01-30T19:06:32.859+00:002012-01-30T19:06:32.859+00:00Anna - I dont think I want to stay in once place e...Anna - I dont think I want to stay in once place either, it doesnt feel right to me, I struggle to accept/balance this with the desire to create security for myself, but at what price does security come at? There is no such thing as a cheap base here in the UK as you know, Its not where I want to be so whats the point? Who said that drifting was bad? I still feel the need to conform, I dont know why? I LOVE N Ibiza, if I had my way.....now to convince DH, buying something there, I dont know, but I can see us spending chunks of time there again, I cant ever see me buying anything the way I feel at the moment.xxx<br /><br />Jerry, I agree, sometimes its a daily battle with the demons, but I do think that where you live is very important, but yes the constant restlessness and need to find "it" is wearing to say the least. Is it unreasonable to want to live somewhere with a pleasant outlook, somewhere with like minded people in a progressive atmosphere? Somewhere with space, where houses are not ugly overpriced slave boxes? Do you accept your lot, or do you try to find something "more", I sometimes think that acceptance is the key but, its not working for me :)xxx<br /><br />Alice, yes who makes the rules? I sometimes convince myself that safe and conventional is the way to go, but its not I cant conform, dont want to, it takes time as you say to accept that we can life an alternative life, I too dream of a sunnier climate, I want to be outdoors more in every sense, not sitting inside with the central heating on. Thanks for the link xxxDreamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07805228653702563060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851511678707015789.post-61146220064408255982012-01-25T16:20:30.311+00:002012-01-25T16:20:30.311+00:00I too have based many of my most important life de...I too have based many of my most important life decisions on fear: the fear of not being loved, the fear of being alone, the fear of never having enough 'fill-in-the-blank'. It's a horrible basis from which to plan but I completely understand the roots of its origin. I think once we begin to understand where that fear originates from, then we can begin to learn to control it and put it into perspective. Fear, for example, is one example of how I became mired in debt and money worries. I needed a huge custom home to make me feel successful and that I wasn't a loser. <br /><br />In your case, I believe, you are equating buying a home with security and I too have obviously made that mistake. May I make the suggestion that you do not rashly buy a house? That could be the worst single thing that you do, especially if you hate the neighborhood/region/country. You could end up stuck again in a place you don't want to be with the added hassle of unloading a house you don't want that was expensive to acquire in the first place. Try renting. That is my plan going forward. If the spouse and I move to a new place, which we will, we are going to rent first. <br /><br />It's difficult to learn a new set of coping skills ~ I'm still learning after all this time! ~ but making decisions based on fear is not the way to go. I have at least learned that much LOL Regroup and come up with another plan as they say. Just try to think about how you're feeling that day/week and why you want to act on impulse. It's not easy to come to terms with deep rooted emotions but unfortunately it's the only way to incrementally begin to understand oneself.Questhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18132950764844608518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851511678707015789.post-33809318232622185922012-01-24T10:00:54.350+00:002012-01-24T10:00:54.350+00:00PS. Spain is lovely... why not a short-term house ...PS. Spain is lovely... why not a short-term house sit? trustedhousesitters.comAlicenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851511678707015789.post-60353062141214955402012-01-24T09:59:31.377+00:002012-01-24T09:59:31.377+00:00sending a huge hug... as Anna says, I too can only...sending a huge hug... as Anna says, I too can only sympathise. I hear you :-) We are happy on our boat, but I often wonder if we should be somewhere else, becoming part of a different community. I worry about the long-term stability of a boat. Then I dream about a sunnier climate and other crazy dreams and think 'I'm crazy!!!!' so then think about being 'normal' and 'safe' again... but then I wake up in the night and think 'who makes the rules?' who is it that is instilling this fear in us? We can be free-spirits... we can be independent... I believe it is possible. But it takes time, and I am still learning... email coming soon xxxxxAlicenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851511678707015789.post-55784951180615327972012-01-23T19:51:54.145+00:002012-01-23T19:51:54.145+00:00As long as you keep looking for happiness in where...As long as you keep looking for happiness in where you live, you will continue to search. <br /><br />Happiness and contentment comes much more for inside. And I think you recognize this by the statements you make. <br /><br />For example, reread your second paragraph. It is all about you, not where you are living. Your living situation will change none of that.<br /><br />The fear you feel is not about being " safe and warm and dry in my old age". It is about confronting your own demons.Jerry Critterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01870618647449723147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851511678707015789.post-67483784048684445042012-01-23T18:11:05.649+00:002012-01-23T18:11:05.649+00:00We are in the same position (possibly without the ...We are in the same position (possibly without the traumatic past). We talk about my/our restlessness and debate the importance of siting ourselves in a 'community' all the time. But, I don't want to go to one place and stay there. I'm torn between renting and uprooting every 6months/12 months and buying a small place somewhere (in a nice climate). Drifting or staying on? So difficult. I can only sympathise.<br /><br />You seemed to really like N.Ibiza. Would that be a good place for you to root yourself - buy a little place?Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13443527125531144896noreply@blogger.com